Life of a Softball Player’s Girlfriend.


We all have our ‘thing’ in life right? Clearly mine is writing, but some people love to cook, bake, dance, sing.. The list goes on forever. It’s great to have a hobby or do something that just makes you happy. It’s even better to see someone you love do what they love. That’s what it’s like to be a softball players girlfriend. If you’re considering dating someone that plays this game, here’s a few pointers to get you prepared for the journey you’re going to embark on every season, every year:

It’s NOT a game.Β 

There’s actually a saying, “SOE” which stands for softball over everything. If you hear it, don’t get offended. When he’s at the fields, it really is softball over everything.Β If he’s anything like the average player, he will take it very seriously. If he makes an error or gets out, it’s best to steer clear of him for at least 10 minutes, unless you’re bringing him a beer, in which case, he may not pout for nearly as long.

Enjoy it.

Trust me, it may seem like softball season is never ending, sometimes you’ll be convinced that every weekend for the rest of your life (or as long as your dating him) will be spent at the ball fields, but enjoy it. You’ll come to find out that those 3-4 months out of the year that he’s not playing are actually pretty boring, you may end up missing the season more than he does by the time winters over. Going to the fields can actually be fun.

Don’t be stuck up his ass.

Excuse my language, but seriously. Like I said, going to the fields can be fun, but not if you’re that girlfriend that cannot be away from her boyfriend for 2 minutes. Softball is HIS thing. Remember, you’re solely there for support & beer (who doesn’t love a tub or five of alcohol?!) so if he goes off with his friends during a game break instead of having a make out session with you, it’s NOT the end of the world. This will actually give you time to meet some of the other wives/girlfriends and make friends of your own! I’ve met some of my favorite people and best friends at the ball park!


Yup, that’s right. Depending on what team he plays for & just how into it he may get, there’s always traveling in softball. This could be the perfect time for you to get to know the team and spend time with them or it could be your own mini-vacation from both him AND softball so you just have girls days back home instead, whichever you prefer. Please don’t make it an argument if he decides to go and you’re not/can’t. There are plenty of other things he could be doing instead of playing with balls with other men (LOL jk) but don’t hate him too much for playing.

He loved it first.

Chances are, you’re boyfriend was playing ball long before he even knew you existed or at least before you took part of his heart.. Anyway, because of this, when phrases like “SOE” are heard, know it’s nothing personal, but softball has a place in his heart too. He’s allowed to love you both, definitely you more, BUT when it’s game time, that becomes his priority.

Plan ahead.

This will save you a lot of arguments and spare you a lot of time. If you want him to come on a family vacation or you want to plan a romantic getaway for just the two of you, PLAN AHEAD. It’s a lot easier for him to go into the season knowing when he can’t play then wait until a week or two before hand to let him know about it, after he just found out they have a big tournament that same weekend. He’s not trying to choose softball over you, but he doesn’t want to let his team down either. Make it easier and don’t wait, so that everyone will be prepared.

It’s family.

Like I said earlier, I’ve met some of my best friends at the ball park. When he’s been playing softball for awhile or played on the same team for several years, you’ll soon realize just how close they are. There’s nothing like the friendships of those teammates. You’ll most likely know everyone’s entire family by the end of the season & you’ll feel like part of the gang. Don’t take those friendships for granted, once the seasons over, you’ll be surprised how often your schedule will allow you to hang out with them and you just never know what team he may end up on next year.

Basically, dating a softball player can be challenging at times for different reasons, but ultimately, it’s pretty great. Drink up and enjoy it. Love him for loving the game, you’ll learn to love it too, if not, there’s always more beer, and you can never go wrong with that. Here’s to the start of the season and the first tournament down.

91 thoughts on “Life of a Softball Player’s Girlfriend.

  1. Lachresha

    This is so on point. I’ve been with my softball player for 26 years we’ve been married for 22 of those years. He is now 48 and still going hard at it today as he was when he was in his 20’s. Who am I to take away something he loves so much.


  2. tandy

    I have been with one for 10 yrs and i never knew about adult softball untill i got with him now i play on womens team and i love it and then we play a lil coed together it works for us


    • SimplyAshNicole

      Awesome! I’ve grown to love the sport and the environment after several years of spending summers at the fields! Wouldn’t have it any other way!


  3. Fern

    Wow!! You hit the nail right on the head!! Lol I love softball and the best of friends I have made over the years!! It’s hard at first but it’s amazing! Sometimes I think I love it more than him πŸ™‚ perfection


  4. Mandy

    I love this! Coming from a softball girlfriend & softball player. It can be tough both ways. It’s even more tough for a guy dating a softball girl. But let’s face it if your guy isn’t into sports and you are….it’s not gonna work!


  5. marlene rose

    I’m a 63 year old great grandmother ….but I coached softball for many years , mens, womens and co-ed…love the game …always have ….I played until I was in my 50’s and wouldn’t take anything away from this game that I still love …thanks for the read …its right on…:)


  6. Patrick Raasch

    i was fortunate enough to marry a girl just as crazy with it as I am. I’m in 5 leagues during the week and she is in 6 this summer…some coed together and some mens/womens for ourselves..not to mention tournaments on top of that lol….crazy summers but a heck of a lot of fun!


    • SimplyAshNicole

      This is a little sad actually, are you gonna amount to anything more than someone who takes time out of their day to put someone you don’t even know down for no reason? When you write a viral blog, let me know πŸ˜‰


  7. Jason massagee mouth

    I have played for 16 years now .. and 4 travel teams and by far it is so ” SOE” if you know it you love it if not sucks to be you thank you for writing this it is the greatest thing ever .. but only 1 thing our team dont drink we are a sober team but to each his own thanks again #99 MOUTH”


    • SimplyAshNicole

      Nice that’s awesome! My boyfriend doesn’t drink either so I completely understand that, but beer is pretty common at the softball parks around here! Thank you so much, glad you enjoyed it!


  8. Amy

    This article my apply to most all men who play softball and how they would prefer their girlfriend or wife would handle it, however I think it should be said that not everyone is in the same place in their life…not everyone has the time to simply “follow their man around” while he has fun.
    I work long shifts and my schedule doesn’t always match up with my husbands. We are a blended family with ever changing kid schedules. It is a challenge to say the least to carve out alone time. If my man chooses that time to play ball instead, I may not be as inclined to follow him to the field…especially if when I get there I should respect that he may not come hang out with me between games.
    My point…my time is just as important as my husband’s. If he needs time with his friends, that’s cool. However I am an independent woman that doesn’t feel the need to “be up his ass” as you put it.
    While I want our alone time to be used doing something together, nurturing our marriage, I can be OK with him using the time to play ball instead. I’m just not OK with your suggestion that we should all just be happy for him while we give him space to pout or take him a beer lol. I don’t coddle my husband. He’s a grown man, not a child. And I’m not his momma. I am is partner, his equal.
    You may choose the tactic you described and it may work for you and where you are in this relationship, but to suggest other women follow your suit is suggesting that we are all alike. We arent.


  9. Dave

    I actually think it works good the other way too. I’m a guy and my wife doesn’t come to my games. She’s not a big softball or baseball fan. But to be honest though, it works out perfect because that’s the time I get to hang out with my friends and do my thing for a few hours. Maybe it’s the fact that we’re married that it works out great. You spend enough time together when you’re married that time alone with your friends is healthy for the marriage too. As long as it works, it’s all good.

    Liked by 1 person

    • SimplyAshNicole

      Oh for sure! I completely understand what you’re saying. I’m not at every game, every weekend, but before meeting him I was never at the softball fields. It’s grown into something I look forward to now! I know some women that cringe at the thought of it, I was just trying to get at the fact that it’s really not all that bad! I like supporting him in what he loves to do, just as he does the same for me! As you stated, as long as it works it’s all good πŸ™‚


  10. Jenn

    Such a good read! My hubby of 10 years has been playing softball for about 13 years. I absolutely love it and we even had our 1 year Anniversary at the ball diamond and had our cake out there too! I can’t wait for the season to start!


  11. Marty Martin

    Great message! I met my wife playing softball, we were at a tournament in Sitka, she lived in Petersburg. I ran into her later in Sitka she moved over and we have been playing, coaching, watching, cheering ever since!! We both played until we were 53 years young, and it hurt to much to get out of bed Monday morning!!


  12. Terri B

    When I met my husband 32 yrs ago (we will be married 27 yrs in Oct) he played 5 nights a wk and 2 mornings a wk, also tournaments on wkends. I had never been round softball till I met him. Now he is almost 66 yrs old and still plays 3 days a wk we also travel out of state during the summer for softball tournaments. Have met a lot of great people over the years. It’s great to see them when we are at tournaments, and have not seen them in awhile. My husband has been playing softball for over 45+ yrs he plans on playing till he is 70 yrs old. And I will be right there with him.


  13. Jeff

    Wow! I’m retired from my competitive softball days, but I had to reach out and tell you that your insight hits the nail right on the head and great advice. I was lucky enough to have partners in my life that realized how important softball was to me and I had their support, but I remember some of my teammate’s girls not being so supportive and it always caused them problems. I miss my playing days and even though we mostly played lower level leagues we were as serious and competitive as any higher level team out there. It was my life. Thanks for sharing!


  14. Katie Lynn

    So this doesn’t just apply to us girls. It can apply to guys too. I have played softball for about 19 years, and it’s been hard finding a guy that can understand that during the summer all I pretty much do is play softball. But I will agree this is so true.


  15. Fran Mackey

    My son has been playing ball since Little League and he is 42. I use to go to all his games and keep score or just watch. He ttravels about two weekends a month and plays in two leagues during the week. His current girlfriend, thankfully came from a ball playing family so she gets it. His grandmother told her that baseball was his first love and if she couldn’t deal with that she should walk away now, that was two years ado.
    I don’t go to that many games anymore but enjoy them when I do. Now I get to enjoy my grandsons when they play.


  16. mrsharvey11

    Well I must say, this article warmed my heart. My husband and I have been together for 3 1/2 years now. We have 10 chlidren total and we all participate in his softball activities. Many of tge fields gave large playgrounds, music, and concession stands for the kids. I also knew nothing about softball before I met him, but I began to love it based off of how much he loves it. Do i make it to every single game; No but, as often as I can I’m there and the kids too. It gives us the opportunity to do some light traveling w/o the kids. Yes he has his moments at the tournaments where he’s engaging with his teammates and I occupy my time otherwise but he always comes to check on me. Is it all sugar and sweet …naw.. But he’s very understanding to my longing to spend time with him outside of softball. I do let my feelings sometimes take over when they have these tournaments that can last all night but I understand the sportsmanship behind him wanting to participate so badly. However the offer always stands for me to accompany him at any time. I look forward to those warm days and nights relaxing in my lawnchair or bleachers watching my man be macho amongst his comrads. Now i can personally do without those freezing cold nights bundled up trying to tough it out lol.. I give it my best though! I don’t consider it up his butt to be there, he wants us there, we’re his support squad, and he’s our champion ( win or lose). Overall it’s his passion so I support his passion the best I can while making it enjoyable for the entire family πŸ˜€!!


  17. Jeanetta

    This is a great post and it goes both ways. I am a female who loves the game and plays almost every weekend… Let’s make one for the like of a softball boyfriend/husband!!!
    Again great post!!


  18. marc walters

    i played softball for 20+ years averaging 200-400 games a year until a work injury stopped me. these are days i will never forget and were truly the best times i had and agree with you the people you come across play with and against are truly some of the best people i have ever met. i love this story!!!!


  19. Steve

    Wow ..(To the one comment being negative) All she said is she is happy for her man and supports him 100% in his passion as well I’m sure he does with her too. Sounds like you need to Take Notes!! Lol Getting lectured on ” I’m don’t coddle my husband , he’s a grown man, forget him, I’m independent , blah blah blah..” Sounds like your husband is prolly miserable, hating life and your on path to pushing him away into a good womans arms..with your non loving ass lol Keep doing your thing girl! πŸ™‚ Every man loves the support on a good woman ! We are all lucky to have good women. πŸ˜‰ Whether in softball at the fields or in life πŸ™‚


    • SimplyAshNicole

      Thank you so much!! πŸ™‚ We are a team and support each other as couples are supposed to do! I guess everyone handles there relationships different lol.


  20. Edgar

    Every sentence I read all I can say was true true I think I went thru at 500 true in my mind can’t wait for the season to start but my experience hasn’t turn out that way I’m going at it alone my wife is not a fan but she doesn’t interfere thx for the read awesome


  21. Ashley pruitt

    You got it right on the money!! Ive been with my husband 10 yrs. He plays travel n league softball! N its the best times is to be out there n watching him play meeting new ppl! As a wife its amazing to see all these guys doing what they love n spending time with friend” family” on n off the field its a job keeping up with all the games but i love every moment!!


  22. Softball Sister

    I am a female and have played forever. My girlfriend plays also. Softball is a woman’s sport. Men migrated over from the baseball diamond. This article is definitely accurate with the omission of the pronoun “she” in each sentence. Good read.


  23. Coeta B.

    Good read. I didn’t know anything about baseball before I met my now ex. In the last 17 years that we were together, I came to know the game all too well. Seems like if you love someone, you find a way to love all the things they love. Some of the best times of my life were at a game and some of my best friends were met during a game. Although, all of the planning and packing when you have kids was never any fun. We always came home, after weekend’s at tourneys, appreciating it all. There are times I miss hanging out and laughing my a$$ off until 4 in the morning. Kinda hurts to think about not having that in my life anymore. All in all ladies and gents, it’s always good to try new things. Who would’ve known I’d love baseball the way I do and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Natalie

    I appreciate this article, but let’s not forget.. Relationships are about compromise, on both parts. Support goes both ways. Hold steady in what is important to yourself also. If there is love to build on, then it will be an awesome journey for both of you.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Chrissy

    My 24 year old son shared this on his Facebook page and I just had to read it. From the start, I couldn’t stop laughing. This IS SO SPOT ON! I’ve been with my “baller” for almost 30 years, for more than half my life. I’ve raised my children in this very same environment and I wouldnt change a minute of it! We have met some of our dearest friends through the game and have THE BEST memories to last us a lifetime. Now I watch my son and daughter, become their father, in regards to the game. I laugh as I watch my son with his girlfriend, struggling with his clinger (soooo the opposite of what I was). I fell short, struggling to teach him, to teach her, the unspoken, PC rules about being a “baller’s” girlfriend…. until this article. I think he has finally found a way to communicate what the game means to him and to validate all those times he has to explain why his friends (and the entire park pretty much LOL) dog him about his tail in the dugout. LMAO. Hopefully, at the next game or tournament, I will finally get to see, just him and his team, occupying the dugout, sans the lone set of bare, tanned long legs amongst a crew of dirty, softball shoes. Lmao. What a great article, and I think I will save it to pass on for the rest of my kids. At least they’ll have a headstart over their poor brother. LOL.


    • coeta

      Lol, that’s funny! I can wait. My only son is only gonna be ten, four older sisters, so he’s learning… Hopefully, when he’s older, he won’t be with someone so opposite of me. With my luck, she will be just like me and we will hate each other. We will see. πŸ˜‰ hehe


  26. Erin

    I’m at a tournament right now lol. This is awesome and nails it right on the head. I loved this and although it seems like a nuisance some times I’m so thankful he loves what he’s doing. Now time to find some shirts lol

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Softball Wife

    I have been with my husband going on 6 years and not only am I there to support him but I am also the captian who does everything for the team. We have a coed team every year for the past 5 years and I wouldn’t change it for the world, yes it is a lot of work but you are correct it’s boring during the winter months but during spring, summer and fall we keep pretty busy doing all of our sports we do. Softball isn’t the only sport we are involved in but it is one of them. This blog doesn’t only mean softball to me it means every other sport we do together or separately we both are very active in alot of things. I love this.

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Softball Wife

    I have been with my husband going on 6 years and not only am I there to support him but I am also the captian who does everything for the team. We have a coed team every year for the past 5 years and I wouldn’t change it for the world, yes it is a lot of work but you are correct it’s boring during the winter months but during spring, summer and fall we keep pretty busy doing all of our sports we do. Softball isn’t the only sport we are involved in but it is one of them. This blog doesn’t only mean softball to me it means every other sport we do together or separately we both are very active in alot of things. I love this.!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  29. softballjulz

    So true! My boyfriend and I both play a TON and there have been a lot of players on his men’s teams that can’t play as much anymore now that they have gotten married…..whether that is the reason or not he always jokes and says “that’s why you need to be with a softball girl.” We are on a few teams together and then also play separately.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Wolfgang Holzl

    Where were you when I was dating?! My wife hasn’t been to a game in 10+ years….always envied the guys whos family’s come out to watch support them….and I always have a cooler full of beverages if you find yourself needing one….lol….

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Michael Meiches (The Ad Softball World Series)

    Loved the article. So true.

    I am a softball promoter that organizes an annual upscale co-ed tournament; it’s promoted as a softball “vacation”. Teams come from all across the USA, Canada, UK, and Ireland. It’s 35 years strong.

    Everybody stays together at a 4-star resort, we stage dinner parties, beer gardens, and every team plays a guaranteed 12 games. Happily, I can report that we have had 52 introductions at this event that have led to marriage.

    As a result, I would love to re-post your article, giving you editorial credit, of course.

    Liked by 1 person

  32. Cynt

    Thank you for this blog. You have given me much insight.

    I’m struggling with this very issue. I love sports, basketball, football, tennis. I never was a baseball or softball fan. But I love sports so I can adjust to watching a few softball games. But my BF plays 12 months a year and every weekend and 4 out of 5 nights a week. So I see him zero hours on the weekend. And forget about him missing a day on the weekend so we can hangout.

    He’s 45 and I’m 46 so I get everyone needing there thing/hobby that they’re crazy passionate about and love. Mine thing is Womans college basketball. December to March Im either at a game or watching a game.

    However, Im trying to find balance with his softball games. He tells me I need to tell him ahead of time. Im like ok. But its disappointing when I do this and he choses softball. I asked him why do I have to make appointments with you but if softball calls you drop everything to go play.

    I’ve never dated a guy who didn’t want to spend time with me. We’ve dated a year and he still won’t commit one day a month to us. Its frustrating. I love him to pieces but I’m starting to think maybe he needs a softball girl. I don’t mind coming to a game or two or three for a season. I support him 100%. But every weekend, 12 months a year. We’re in Texas. Friday when we get off work until midnight Sunday. I mean really?

    Any helpful suggestions are greatly appreciated.


    • SimplyAshNicole

      Oh goodness, I’m sorry to hear about your situation. I can totally understand where you’re coming from. Like you said, it’s all about balance. If he’s not willing to work with you and make time for you, as well as softball, that’s not fair. If you plan things ahead of time to try to work with his schedule, that shows how much effort you are putting in to make it work. He’s gotta do the same. I enjoy going my boyfriends softball games, sometimes I feel like I look forward to tournament weekends than he does, but I’ve made great friendships at the ballpark and met some amazing people that I get along really well with now, so it’s a good time for both of us. My boyfriend does make time for me as well though and we go on vacations and weekend trips just the two of us. So there’s compromise and we work together. I would definitely reach out to him about how you’re feeling. Sorry again that you’re going through this. Playing and loving softball is one thing, but not making much time for anything else, is a whole different situation. Keep your head up, maybe the next time you go to a game you’ll meet other wives and girlfriends and it’ll be something you’ll enjoy too!


    • Cynt

      I guess I spoke too soon. Just when I was preparing to have “the talk” he totally surprised me today with a dozen roses and an evening together. HE LEFT THE SOFTBALL GAME! Im still in shock.

      I didn’t say anything to him. Just out of the blue he called this afternoon and asked me if I wanted to hang out this evening. This usually means an hour or 2 together before his next game.

      Nope. He went home showered and was fresh, looking good and smelling good. Knocked on the door with a dozen red roses in hand. He said I just wantedto make you smile. This is why I love him so much. He’s caring and thoughtful.

      He did mention tonight, I hear you and I’m working on it. I just smiled because I’ve said enough. Now I know he understands me. Time for him to put in the work.

      Thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers.


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