I Miss You.

Letting go never seems fair, but holding on is too much to bare.

Nothing is the same without you there.

People always tell me that this will get easier, I’ll eventually move on,

But I haven’t been the same, since you’ve been gone.

I try to accept it and hide the pain I feel,

But this hurt always reminds me, that this is all too real.

I miss your laugh and the way you made me smile,

What I wouldn’t give to sit with you for awhile.

Whatever you are doing, wherever you may be,

Please continue looking out for me.

I know that we will meet again someday,

But until then I’ll hold on to our memories as I’ve done since you went away.

I love you and I miss you more, every single day.

To My Future Husband..

To My Future Husband,

    You deserve an award. I will never understand how you’ve managed to put up with me for so long and to think, you’re okay with doing it for the rest of your life.. You’re truly heaven sent.

   I’m not the worst woman in the world; however, I will be the first to argue with you over which football game were watching on Sunday’s and I might get a little attitude if you shame my cooking skills, but I promise to be honest and loyal for the rest of our days. You will never have to question who has my heart or where my mind wanders.

  I apologize in advance for anything I may break around the house and then try to fix on my own. I’m a little clumsy, but I will try my hardest to never let you see that. Trust me, it’s embarrassing. To make up for it though, I’ll get down and dirty, so you won’t have to worry about cleaning. I just can’t promise that our house will be spotless every day. If it’s up to me, we’ll have plenty of kids and dogs running around to make sure that doesn’t happen lol.

  I’m sorry if my clothes take up most of the closet (your t-shirts included, we both know those are now mine too) and if there’s no room for your shoes. It’s hard being a girl when there are Targets allover. You should also be warned because I may steal the covers, but I promise to always keep an extra blanket nearby for those cold winter nights. Believe me, we’ll need them- I need a fan on no matter what the weather is like.

  It’s a rule, I get to shower first. I have my hair and make up to do, while you can just rinse and go. I am not always prissy and I won’t always look like I did on our first date- I spent three hours trying to perfect my looks that night- but I will always be myself. My laugh is ridiculously loud and obnoxious and I don’t find tickling funny. In fact, unless you want to start an all out war, I’d be careful if I were you.

  That’s another thing. I’m down to play fight and wrestle with you for hours, but don’t get mad when I beat you. I’ve got three brothers, I’ve been ‘fighting’ for the last 10 years. I won’t get mad if you play the game, as long as you don’t mind if I join in every now and then.. I’ll be sure to give you a challenge, but I can’t guarantee I’ll be good at it, I just think it’s fun.

  Lifetime movies are great and I can’t miss my weekly tv series. We’ll just have to compromise. But isn’t that what this is all about? I do things that drive you crazy and you piss me off more times than I count. We laugh until we cry and hold on tight when the ride gets a little bumpy. This relationship won’t be full of wine nights followed up with pizza (although, wouldn’t that be nice?!), but if we’ve made it this far, I have no doubt that we can overcome whatever life throws our way.

  I have prayed for you since I was a little girl and I’ve spent countless nights on Pinterest planning our lives together. Believe me when I say that you are so much more than I could’ve ever imagined and more than I will ever accept that I deserve. Your reassurance and support will get me through the tough days and your smile will make the good days better. Don’t ever change, you are my soulmate and my best friend. My happily ever after and I cannot wait to spend the rest of my days with you.

– Your Future Wife.

    

It’s Unbelievable Where Life Could Take You.

Ya know, life is just crazy sometimes, better yet, MOST of the time. Just when we think we’ve finally got it all figured out, it’s like life sees us getting too comfortable and bam, just like that, another curveball is thrown at you, completely ruining your plans.

I thought I knew everything at 16 because sitting behind that wheel for the first time gave me all the power in the world. Again at 18, I knew I had it all planned out because I was finally legal and officially recognized as an adult. As 20 came along I was no longer a teen and was determined to take on the world. Here I am, 23, more lost than I’ve ever been and I’m realizing that this is perfectly okay.

I’ve spent most of my time trying to find ways of perfecting my life and making sure I was fully prepared for any obstacle that may my come way. When I tried college but it wasn’t my gig, I felt like a failure. When I quit my job to start all over again somewhere completely different, I felt like a loser. I’ve made an endless amount of mistakes, as I’m sure most of you have too. For awhile, I regretted them. I constantly thought about the ‘what if’s’ and pictured where I’d be if would’ve done things differently, but one day I realized that I was doing this thing called life so wrong..

I’ve learned that the key to life is not about living it perfectly and there is no way to ever be prepared for all of the challenges that may come your way. It’s not about doing everything ‘right’ and always having the answers.

From the time we were in grade school, we were told that the plan is to graduate; go to college; become a teacher, doctor, nurse, etc.; find a life partner, fall in love, get married, and start a family. Doesn’t that sound perfect? Isn’t that how 99% of the movies we’ve grown up watching portray life to be? Well guess what, that’s not always how it works. Some people will do it backwards, some may never follow it at all. But, to each their own, because there is no set in stone way of life. What’s right for someone, may not be good for someone else. What works for one person, may not go over well for others. The mistakes I’ve made are not because I’m a mess or don’t know what I’m doing. Their purpose was to bring me to the place I am today. They have helped shape me into the woman I am now and I no longer regret them. I don’t have to know exactly where I’m going, in fact, the unknown is part of the thrill.

I’ve found that the purpose in life, the reason for our individual stories, is to be happy. Fully, completely, and genuinely happy. If there’s something you don’t like, change it. If there’s negativity surrounding you, let it go. If you’re doubting your decisions and questioning why you are where you’re at in this very moment, know that it’s because that’s exactly where you’re meant to be. John Lennon once said, “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” So don’t worry too much if you feel lost or uncertain, hold on to the things, places, and people that make you happy. It’s unbelievable where life could take you.

Life of a Softball Player’s Girlfriend.

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We all have our ‘thing’ in life right? Clearly mine is writing, but some people love to cook, bake, dance, sing.. The list goes on forever. It’s great to have a hobby or do something that just makes you happy. It’s even better to see someone you love do what they love. That’s what it’s like to be a softball players girlfriend. If you’re considering dating someone that plays this game, here’s a few pointers to get you prepared for the journey you’re going to embark on every season, every year:

It’s NOT a game. 

There’s actually a saying, “SOE” which stands for softball over everything. If you hear it, don’t get offended. When he’s at the fields, it really is softball over everything. If he’s anything like the average player, he will take it very seriously. If he makes an error or gets out, it’s best to steer clear of him for at least 10 minutes, unless you’re bringing him a beer, in which case, he may not pout for nearly as long.

Enjoy it.

Trust me, it may seem like softball season is never ending, sometimes you’ll be convinced that every weekend for the rest of your life (or as long as your dating him) will be spent at the ball fields, but enjoy it. You’ll come to find out that those 3-4 months out of the year that he’s not playing are actually pretty boring, you may end up missing the season more than he does by the time winters over. Going to the fields can actually be fun.

Don’t be stuck up his ass.

Excuse my language, but seriously. Like I said, going to the fields can be fun, but not if you’re that girlfriend that cannot be away from her boyfriend for 2 minutes. Softball is HIS thing. Remember, you’re solely there for support & beer (who doesn’t love a tub or five of alcohol?!) so if he goes off with his friends during a game break instead of having a make out session with you, it’s NOT the end of the world. This will actually give you time to meet some of the other wives/girlfriends and make friends of your own! I’ve met some of my favorite people and best friends at the ball park!

Traveling.

Yup, that’s right. Depending on what team he plays for & just how into it he may get, there’s always traveling in softball. This could be the perfect time for you to get to know the team and spend time with them or it could be your own mini-vacation from both him AND softball so you just have girls days back home instead, whichever you prefer. Please don’t make it an argument if he decides to go and you’re not/can’t. There are plenty of other things he could be doing instead of playing with balls with other men (LOL jk) but don’t hate him too much for playing.

He loved it first.

Chances are, you’re boyfriend was playing ball long before he even knew you existed or at least before you took part of his heart.. Anyway, because of this, when phrases like “SOE” are heard, know it’s nothing personal, but softball has a place in his heart too. He’s allowed to love you both, definitely you more, BUT when it’s game time, that becomes his priority.

Plan ahead.

This will save you a lot of arguments and spare you a lot of time. If you want him to come on a family vacation or you want to plan a romantic getaway for just the two of you, PLAN AHEAD. It’s a lot easier for him to go into the season knowing when he can’t play then wait until a week or two before hand to let him know about it, after he just found out they have a big tournament that same weekend. He’s not trying to choose softball over you, but he doesn’t want to let his team down either. Make it easier and don’t wait, so that everyone will be prepared.

It’s family.

Like I said earlier, I’ve met some of my best friends at the ball park. When he’s been playing softball for awhile or played on the same team for several years, you’ll soon realize just how close they are. There’s nothing like the friendships of those teammates. You’ll most likely know everyone’s entire family by the end of the season & you’ll feel like part of the gang. Don’t take those friendships for granted, once the seasons over, you’ll be surprised how often your schedule will allow you to hang out with them and you just never know what team he may end up on next year.

Basically, dating a softball player can be challenging at times for different reasons, but ultimately, it’s pretty great. Drink up and enjoy it. Love him for loving the game, you’ll learn to love it too, if not, there’s always more beer, and you can never go wrong with that. Here’s to the start of the season and the first tournament down.