This Is Not Where My Story Ends: Giving Up Is Not An Option.

Life has a crazy way of kicking us when we’re down, doesn’t it? We’ve all heard the saying, “When it rains, it pours..” and I’m sure most of us have probably even used it a few times ourselves. Sometimes life can be so overwhelming, so exhausting, but that’s just all part of the journey. Nobody ever said that it was going to be easy. 

When I was young, just a pre-teen, babysitting my brothers and neighborhood kids, I dreamed of the days that I would grow up and become a mother, taking care of my own children. As I rocked my youngest brother to sleep, I’d fantasize about what my house would look like and how my life would be in the years to come. I imagined myself and my husband like most other girls my age did, everything fell perfectly into place and I got my happily ever after ending. I always joked that I wanted three kids and two dogs. I had it all planned out. It was picture perfect and over the years, I kept faith that my hopes would someday become my reality.

I’d like to think that I’m blessed with my relationship, I found a man that exceeded all my expectations and we make a great team. It’s a safe bet to say that we appear to be just like any other couple our age, from the outside looking in. Strangers would probably never guess what we’ve been through in the six, almost seven, years that we’ve been together. Overall, we’ve created a great life for ourselves, but my dream of my picture perfect family hasn’t quite come together just yet though. It’s not because we haven’t been close, because damn it, we’ve been so close more times than I’d like to admit, but unfortunately, we have yet to successfully welcome a child into this world that we can hold in our arms forever. In fact, this part of the plan has been nothing short of complicated, but this is not where our story ends.

I’ve had countless people ask me if we were going to be trying again and then proceed to ask me how I could ever “want to put myself through that again”. I’ve been repeatedly asked how I’m not “afraid” of possibly losing another baby and I’ve even had people say, “there’s always adoption!” as they continue to to tell me how crazy and selfish I would be, if I were to get pregnant again. I’ve literally heard it all. 

Let me start by saying, thanks for your input and excuse my language, but fuck off. If you’ve never gotten a positive pregnancy test, only to be told that there is no heartbeat; if you’ve never had baby showers or gender reveals only to be left with unopened and unused presents; if you’ve never felt a baby kick from the inside, only to hold it’s still and silent body in your arms just a couple weeks later; if you’ve never been through the loss of a child, then you have no idea what I need to do or how I should proceed with the decisions I make in my life and you will never understand the internal battle that I have with myself every single day.

Every time I’ve gotten a positive pregnancy test, my longing to have a living child has grown that much more. My motherly instincts kick in and I instantly become overwhelmed with emotions. I fight to not get my hopes up, but it’s close to impossible not to. I cry in fear of what may happen and I pray to God for guidance and a healthy baby. Every single time, it’s an emotional rollercoaster. 

To answer your question, hell yes I am terrified of losing another baby. I spend more time than not worrying about all the things that could go wrong, but to me, every single aspect of it, is more than worth it, if it means I’ll get my rainbow baby someday. I don’t regret a single pregnancy, because I felt a happiness and an unconditional love for each baby, that I never even knew existed. I don’t have anything ‘wrong’ with me nor have I been diagnosed with something that would prevent me from ever having a healthy child, so I will continue to take the chance and try for my forever baby. If that makes me crazy and selfish, then so be it.

Pregnancy is not always easy and I don’t just mean the awful morning sickness or the backaches that come along with it. You see, getting pregnant isn’t just an ‘oops!’ for everyone. It takes some couples thousands of dollars in treatments and medications before they are finally blessed with a child. For others, staying pregnant is one of the biggest challenges that they may ever face and sometimes, there just isn’t an explanation as to why. So before you question or judge someone else, try to put yourself in their place, it may not make sense to you, but it doesn’t have to. Giving up is just not an option, staying strong is the only choice I’ve got. 

The Life of A ‘Loss Mother’..

​1 in 4. It’s that common. Did you know that more than 500,000 pregnancies each year end in miscarriage? Over 23,600 babies are born sleeping a year in just the United States alone. So many parents are affected by the loss of a child and some families have even suffered from multiple losses. These statistics may seem minuscule in the big scheme of things, because every time you scroll through Facebook or refresh your Instagram feed, it seems like yet another person has announced that they’re expecting, but roughly 19% of the adult population has experienced the loss of a child. Regardless of what stage of pregnancy the loss occurred or how much time the parents were given with their child before they had to say goodbye, there are no words to fully describe the pain that is felt throughout life after that loss. There is said to be 7 billion people in this world and roughly, 1.33 billion are parents who have to go through life without their child (or children). So tell me, why is it not talked about? Why do so many parents feel so alone and hide their stories amongst themselves, when there are over one billion other people in the world who have been in similar situations and are familiar with the grief that takes over, when a child is taken far too soon? 

I am a loss mother. To my fellow loss parents, I know the heartache and the pain all too well and I am here to tell you that you are not alone. I have held back and kept quiet. I have shut myself out from the world. I have been bitter and I have pushed those that are closest to me away, because I didn’t know what else to do. There is no ‘right’ way to grieve. Death affects us all differently and it’s only natural that we find our own ways to cope with it. However, from my personal experience, I learned that not talking about it did not help. Not sharing my story, my life, didn’t change the fact that my heart is forever hurting. I was suffering alone, but that didn’t make my situation any less real. Regardless of if I held it all in and cried myself to sleep for months without ever telling a single soul or if I post novels on Facebook sharing my every emotion, I am still a loss mother and nothing is going to change that.

No two stories are the same; we may have faced different challenges, but we have one thing in common, the longing for our child(children) to be in our arms. The struggles we face as loss parents, never go away. For days, months, and years to follow, we are haunted by the fact that this is our harsh reality. If you are a loss parent or you know or love someone that is, try to remember the following things, when you see that they are having a rough day: (Trust me, they happen and sometimes the grief will hit like a ton of bricks.)

You don’t have to know what to say.

We don’t expect you to, because honestly, there is nothing that anyone can say to ease the pain. Sometimes we just need to know that someone is there to listen and to hold us while we cry.

Don’t be afraid to ask.

Chances are we are waiting for the opportunity to talk about our children. Talking about them keeps their spirit and memory alive and that’s all we have left, so ask us about them. I bet you’ll see the light in our eyes when we start describing the most intimate moments and reminiscing about the sweet little angels they are.

It takes time.

Everyone is different and we all grieve differently. Time does not heal all wounds, because some were just not meant to be healed. The hole in a loss parent’s heart is forever.  I know the emotional rollercoaster ride may seem never ending at times, but we will get there, when we get there and that’s okay.

Blame. It’s going to happen.

As a loss parent, it is impossible not to feel at fault. “What did I do wrong?” “What could I have done differently?” “How could I let this happen?” “I was supposed to protect my child and I failed.” It’s hard, so, so hard, but it is no one’s fault. We don’t always understand the plan that’s in place for us, but we’re not supposed to. Sometimes there is just no justification for when, where, how or why things happen.

Patience is a virtue.

There will be days when it takes everything we have just to get out of bed and change into semi-presentable clothes. There will also be those days where there are more tears than there are words spoken. There will be sleepless nights and a loss of appetite, but be patient. Figuring out how to put the pieces back together isn’t an easy task, but having support to stick it out through the dark days, makes it seem less impossible.

Tomorrow is another day.

Some days smiling comes easy. Our hearts are full of hope and faith. The memories we have bring joy and we are overcome with happiness because of the unconditional love the we felt from our little ones. Signs of our angels will appear in the craziest ways, letting each of us know when our babies are near. Those are the good days. They may be few and far between, but when they happen, it’s a reminder that we are going to be okay, that we are going to make it.

The journey of life after loss is just that, a journey. Every day is a challenge, but it is another day closer to being with our children again. Pregnancy, infant, and child loss are so common all over the world and the more we open up about it, the more we can come together. Losing a child doesn’t make someone any less of a parent; they just become an extra special kind, because their child is an angel. Share your story or be a listening ear. Let’s break the silence.

To The Girl Who Lost Herself In The Midst of The Chaos.

Listen, I get it. I totally do. We’ve all been there before. You didn’t ask to fall for him, it just kind of happened. But when the honeymoon stage has faded and the ‘fairytale’ has ended and you finally see his true worth, no excuse that you give me is enough for me to think that you should stay in this toxic relationship and here’s why..

“I don’t want to be alone.”
Since when did being ‘single’ become being alone? You’re only alone if you sit in the house and mope around thinking about and missing him. You have friends and family that love you and chances are they miss you, a lot, especially since most of your time has been spent with him recently anyway. Go out and have fun. Be the twenty-something year old you are and enjoy it while you can.

“I’m comfortable.”
Change is not always a bad thing. If you think about it, change is all around us and year after year things change, it’s a part of life. Just because you’re used to not being happy, doesn’t mean that it’s right. Plus, getting rid of him will be a good kind of change. You’ll no longer have to worry about pleasing anyone but yourself and we all deserve to be a little selfish sometimes.

“I’ve already put in too much time and effort.”
EXACTLY. This is a prime example of why you need to run away while you can. When it’s true love and it’s real, it won’t take months (or years) to make it work. It will just happen. Why spend even more of your time putting forth effort with a boy that isn’t doing the same for you? A relationship should always be 100/100. If you’re not getting what you give, it’s time to move on.

“He will change.”
Oh really? I mean, I guess I could totally believe this if I hadn’t already heard it a million times before. You cannot force him to change. A person will only change when they are ready and they see it fit. If he doesn’t want to change- and obviously he doesn’t given the last 20 chances you’ve given him- you can kiss that thought goodbye, because it’s not going to happen.

“I love him.”
Ever heard the saying, if you love someone let them go? It’s pretty accurate if you ask me. Loving someone, loving the idea of someone, is not the same as being in love with someone. When you are in love, you are fully committed to that person. You will find the good in their flaws and you will love them even on their bad days. Does he do this for you? I doubt it, because if he did, people would be able to see it from the outside and you wouldn’t feel the need to justify why you’re dating him.

“I don’t want to hurt him.”
If you’re still with him after all that you’ve been through, that just shows how big of a heart you have. Not many girls would stick around the way you have and that’s because you care about others so much, but he is not your problem. It is not your job to ‘help’ him. You are not his mother. He didn’t care to hurt you, did he? If you’re not happy, then staying isn’t fair. Sure there are times that you’ve been happy over the course of your relationship, but you deserve to be happy every single day.

I know it’s hard to believe, but at the end of all of this, you will be okay and you will be stronger than you’ve ever been before, but you need to let go. You’re never going find the man that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated if you continue holding on to the boy who doesn’t appreciate you. It will be difficult at first but it will get easier. I promise. One day, you will wake up and look in the mirror and you will be proud of the courage you’ve gained by simply walking away. You will learn to love yourself again.

So let goMove on. Find the girl you lost in the midst of all this chaos. She’s still there and she will be even better than ever before if you let her.

The Life of A ‘Basic’ Girl’s Boyfriend.

​Ladies, we all know how we are, although some are more willing to admit than others.. We can be overly sensitive, a bit melodramatic at times, occasionally emotional, and sometimes feisty, but let’s be real, what’s not to love about that perfect mess?

​It’s hard for us to accept the fact that most guys just don’t understand us and probably never will. Sure we can burst out into tears when our eyeliner just won’t ‘wing’ right or when we have to decide if being late to work is worth the long line at Starbucks (because a Venti Iced Espresso Vanilla Latte is literally life) but that’s just normal issues that everyone has at some point, right? Eh, wrong, at least for a man, that is.

​As you can see, the life of a basic girl’s boyfriend can be somewhat exhausting with trying to keep up with our ever-changing emotions. So guys, here are some pointers to prepare you before you take the plunge and finally make it ‘Facebook official’ with what seems to be your dream girl..

Food is not just for eating.

Don’t even think about touching your plate before it’s positioned just right for the perfect picture to upload on Instagram and don’t be offended when the conversations are paused for at least five minutes after the picture is taken as she makes one of the most difficult decisions of her day, which filter to use.

Buy an extra TV.

Trust me, this will not be a waste of money. Whether it’s Orange Is the New Black or Pretty Little Liars, The Bachelor or a classic Lifetime movie, she will want to control the television. Unless she’s one of the lucky ones that finds a man who will enjoy these shows with her, I guarantee you’re going to want your own TV at some point, either to play Xbox or watch College football.. I promise, you’re going to thank me later.

Get used to the camera.

Along with your fancy plates, your face will be allover Instagram too. Prepare yourself for millions of selfies in one day, wearing the same outfit, until she finds the perfect angle. Before long you’ll be used to it and you will no longer mind the fact that you have become the designated picture taker because you’re arms are longer so selfie’s are just easier for you.

You will listen to Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift.

You can deny it all you want and you can try to fight it, but believe me, you will. You’ll end up knowing the words just as well as she does. You’ll find the songs stuck in your head even when she’s not around. It’s worth it for her though, because she’ll really appreciate your jam sessions together.

Diamonds? Sure, but make-up? Always.

You will never believe the amount of time she has spent on Youtube watching videos trying to conquer the perfect contour and highlight to make her face look like Beyonce when she wakes up, flawless. You’ll never guess how much money it cost for her to get the perfect color locks. Compliment her. She will notice when you don’t.

Time management is not a thing.

5 minutes means at least another hour and rushing her will only slow her down, because then she’ll get stressed and you know how emotional she is when she gets stressed out.. so, just make yourself comfortable. If the two of you need to be somewhere at a certain time, tell her it’s an hour before when you actually need to be there and you might just make it when you’re supposed to.

Her friends will know everything.

If you mess up, be prepared for her friends to know all about it. If you hurt her, you hurt them all. You think one girlfriend is rough, try one girlfriend and her three best friends, you will never win that war. So remember what you got yourself into and don’t be an, excuse my language, asshole.

Snapchat is her diary.

You can pretty much figure out anything you need to know about her day by checking out her Snapchat story. She loves to document when her favorite song comes on the radio while she’s driving and she is obsessed with all the different filters. If you have any questions or she’s not answering your calls, check her story, I bet you’ll get all the answers you were looking for.

​Having a ‘basic’ girlfriend really isn’t all that hard and you will get the hang of it eventually. We’re easy to please for the most part, if you can see past our expensive habits and accept us for the princesses we are, lol, you’ll be just fine. So, remember these few tips and others that you’ll learn as you go and you will be in there like swimwear. You might as well skip the dating scene and put a ring on it, you’re a keeper

Here’s Why You Should Date A Girl That Loves Football..

It’s that time of the year again.. We are officially days away from the first game of the 2017 NFL season and College football is now in full swing. Everyone’s got their fantasy teams ready to go and are counting down for game time. Some would say, scratch that, most would say, that it’s the best time of the year and I could not agree more. Guys, having a girlfriend may seem difficult during football season because let’s be real, some girls will just never understand the game and they definitely don’t get why you love it so much, but hear me out, some of us are actually dying for the season to start just as much as you are and I must say, when she’s not only a total babe but she loves football too, that is a huge plus. Here’s just a few reasons why dating a girl that loves football may just be the best decision of your life..

She’ll keep the fridge stocked with cold ones.

She knows the deal, ‘there will be no beer runs to the store while football is on.’ She knows that you’re gonna need a celebratory beer every time your team scores, but she understands that you will also need a beer if your team starts losing, so she makes sure that there is always enough and chances are, she’ll be right there shotgunning one with you.

She’ll never get annoyed when you check your phone for scores.

She understands that keeping up with your team is important, that includes the players on your fantasy team as well, so she’ll never nag you when you continuously check your phone for updates. She’ll probably be on hers too, keeping herself up to date with the latest football news.

She knows what the weekends are for.

Whether you have tickets to go to the game or are just watching it at home, she knows better than to make special plans with you during game time and she will never ask you to change the channel because she knows the importance of it. There will be no distractions. If anything, she’ll be right there cheering with you. 

She will make you the best snacks.

Wings, Buffalo Dip, Pizza, you name it.. She’ll make sure you and the guys have all the best snacks available, but understand that you need to save some for her too, because she’ll join you in stuffing her face with no hesitation. Football Sundays just aren’t the same without all the good food.

She knows the rules.

You won’t have to worry about her embarrassing you when it comes to football talk, she knows the rules and understands the game. She’ll throw out information you didn’t even know and will start calling out penalties before the refs even say it. She is not afraid to yell at the TV for stupid calls. Trust me, you’ll be impressed with what she knows and it’ll only make you like her even more.

She gets your mood swings.

She knows that if your team loses, it’s like you’ve lost too, so she accepts your little attitude with no questions asked. But you also need understand that she may be the same exact way, if not worse, when her team lets her down, so there should be no judgements from you when she gets emotional too.

She enjoys SportsCenter.

Yes, you read that right. She won’t fuss when the TV is on SportsCenter because she likes catching all of the game updates too. You can only see so much flipping back and forth between games during commercials, so she’ll be totally okay with watching the highlights with you.

She’ll go to the game, regardless of the weather.

When she’s a true football fan, she’ll love going to any game whether it’s -10 degrees or pouring rain. She’ll stock you up with hand warmers and you’ll never be without a poncho. Not to mention, she’ll make sure that you have plenty of your teams hats, hoodies, and jackets to wear throughout the season. She will be there right along with you rooting them on and she won’t mind getting to the stadium to start tailgating extra early.

She understands shit talking.

Every team has their rival. She knows what teams to hate and what teams to cheer for. Don’t be surprised when she starts the shit talking if she sees someone wearing the wrong teams jersey. She knows that’s just part of the game and will enjoy it just as much as you do.

If she likes the same team as you, the two of you will be the ultimate duo, like Tom Brady to Gronk. You’ll never argue over who’s team is better. If she likes a different team, you will probably end up in serious debates with lots of football conversation, but there’s nothing better than that right? Basically, dating a girl that loves football just as much as you do is a total win and regardless you can’t go wrong. 

There’s A Person Out There Somewhere Looking For Someone Just Like You.

     I believe that there is someone out there for everyone. Some may find their soulmate at 15 years old, while others are lucky at 40, but regardless of when we find them, I believe that there’s a person out there somewhere looking for someone just like you. We date, or at least most of us do, with the hopes of finding the relationship that has the spark that will never burn out. With each relationship, we open our hearts and pray that ‘this one will be it’, that all the tears and the lonely nights have come to an end, but even when we’ve found the one, how do we know for sure? Do we ever really know or do we just take the chance with the person that seems to fit best in our lives, because we’ve been so desperate to find love for so long? There is a difference between loving and being in love and trust me, when you’ve found your person, you will easily be able to discover it. Here are just a few subtle signs that you’re on your way to forever with ‘the one’..

1. You argue.                                                         Yes, that’s right. You disagree and you argue. I know you’re probably thinking I’m crazy for believing that arguing is actually a good thing, but I promise, arguments are key in a strong relationship. They always say that you can’t appreciate the good times, without experiencing the bad too. So don’t start planning the break up as soon as things get tough, we are adults. We should all know by now that nothing in life comes easy (especially not relationships with the opposite sex).

2. You make up.                                                        If you understand that you are both human and make mistakes (don’t get me wrong, there are certain mistakes that this rule doesn’t apply to) and can forgive each other; if you never go to bed angry with one another, and you both learn to compromise because suddenly, it’s not just your own happiness that matters anymore; what you’ve got is something worth holding on to. Making up is the best part about arguing, it’s an opportunity to remember just how much the other person means to you and value the fact that you’re both willing to accept each other’s craziness.

3. You are happy.                                                    Completely and utterly, 100% happy. When being in their presence gives you butterflies and looking into their eyes makes you smile; when doing nothing at all becomes more fun than going out every weekend; when the only time they make you cry is from laughing too hard and you really only get mad when they don’t share their food with you.. Know that what you have together is rare and it’s special. Cherish it.

4. You have no questions, no doubts, no worries.                                                                        You don’t wonder about where they are or what they’re doing, while other people are stalking their significant others’ social media pages to make sure they’re not up to no good. You don’t question when they will be home, because you trust them without a doubt. The two of you are capable of being away from each other, but at the end of the day, you’d much rather be together. When there are no questions because there are no secrets, it’s real. Trust is pertinent in a lasting relationship.

5. You just know.                                                     When they are the first person on your mind when you wake up and the last person you think about before you fall asleep; when it doesn’t matter what happens in life, they are the one you always want by your side and the first person you tell all of your secrets to; when they are your best friend, your partner, your confidant, don’t let go. 

The truth is, there’s always going to be obvious hints that can either make or break a relationship, but when you’ve finally got the right one, it’ll be hard to find all of the words to describe it, there will be no uncertainty. No argument could ever break the bond between the two of you and none of life’s obstacles will bring you down for too long, because your partner on this journey through life will be there helping you back up, every single step of the way. When you’ve got ‘the one’, you will feel it in your gut and know with every inch of your being, that they are your soulmate and your happily ever after. 

You’re My Kind of Person.

​Don’t we all have an idea of what we want our ‘type’ of people to be like? Like a mental list of all of the personality traits we’d expect our significant other and/or best friends to possess? I know I do. It’s ironic because most of us get on Social Media and see posts from random people and immediately think, “Oh my gosh, we would totally be best friends.” or “OMG, that’s the exact same thing I always say!” But if you are anything like the type of person I am, you probably won’t be the one to initiate conversations with just anyone, especially on the internet (lol). They say that friendship is a weird concept to think about.. You just pick a human you’ve met and decide, ‘Yeah, I like this one’ and then you just do stuff with them. Well, I’ve been lucky with the people I’ve met in my life and the friendships I’ve made. We’re all so different, yet so alike in so many ways. You’re my kind of person if you are anything like any of the following..

You’re my kind of person if you don’t mind having concerts in the car.

I mean, full on, singing at the top of our lungs to a 1999 Britney Spears song or throwing it back to ‘I Will Always Love You’ by Whitney Houston (have to represent one of the greatest) type of concert. I am not afraid to roll the windows down and perform for anyone stopped next to me at a red light. If you are willing to let loose and belt it all out, we would be best friends.

You’re my kind of person if you love food.

Love is a strong word, but there’s no other way to describe how I feel about food. I may be the pickiest eater you will ever meet, but give me something I do like and I can throw down, no joke. Ice cream, pizza, chicken wings, all the good stuff.. If you don’t mind pigging out every now and then, I guarantee we would get along great.  

You’re my kind of person if you are down for ‘Netflix and chill’.

Let’s be real, how can you not? Netflix is one of my all-time go-to’s for a relaxing night inside. I can binge watch any series for months and not care at all. If you can kick back and enjoy a good tv show, we could definitely plan weekly Netflix nights.

You’re my kind of person if you’re tough.

I say this because there are times that I can be the typical emotional female and need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to vent to. If you can put me in my place and put up with me during that time of the month or any time for that matter, I promise I’d keep you around forever.

You’re my kind of person if you can just go with the flow.

I am so laid back, some may say too laid back at times. I am indecisive and when I do make a decision, it’s totally spur of the moment and random, but there’s no turning back. If you are a semi-unorganized, non-planner like myself, I bet we would make a fantastic mess together. (However, if you are a planner and have a schedule for everything you do in life, that’s totally okay too, I’d appreciate you showing me the ropes and teaching me your ways lol.)

You’re my kind of person if you are straight forward.

As much as it sucks, sometimes having someone tell me like it is, is exactly what I need. Having a brutally honest person in your life that won’t beat around the bush or coddle you, is such a good thing. If you’re the type of person that will tell me that my hair looks ridiculous and that my favorite outfit, actually isn’t as cute as I thought it was or if you will step up tell me when I’m being overdramatic as I’m arguing with my boyfriend and save us all from my pettiness, we could have an ever-lasting friendship.

You’re my kind of person if you see the glass as half-full.

This journey we’re on is crazy and complicated. It can break you down and stress you out if you let it. Negativity can consume us, especially if we surround ourselves with negative people. We all have those rough days and some more frequently than others, but if you can take a deep breath and drink a margarita or five and just enjoy the good things in the middle of all the chaos, I need you in my life.

​I wouldn’t change any friendship I’ve ever had for anything, because each and every one, whether we still talk or not, have helped to shape me into the person I am today. True friendship is hard to come by so I will hold on to the people in my life extra tight. If you’re my kind of person and I’ve already met you, I appreciate you more than you will ever know. If you’re my kind of person and I don’t really know you just yet, I hope that someday, I’ll be lucky enough that our paths will cross.

10 Ways A Guy Says ‘I love you’ Without Actually Saying It..

As girls, we tend to overthink everything, I mean everything. If an old friend doesn’t smile at us and say hi as we pass them in the store, we automatically assume that they no longer like us. When in reality, they were probably just in such a rush that they didn’t even notice we were there. If a waiter tells us he’s got a coupon for 25% off of alcoholic beverages for the evening; our minds are already trying to find ways to avoid giving him our number because we just know he totally wants our bodies.. When in reality, every waiter/waitress in the restaurant is giving out the same offer to boost their bar sales. When it comes to the opposite sex, no amount of reassurance will ever be enough to settle our wandering minds. You will always question if he loves you and worry when he doesn’t actually say it enough. But take a breather ladies and relax, here are 10 signs that he loves you without even saying a word…

1. He plays with your hair.                                While you’re laying there, binge watching your favorite show on Netflix, you randomly feel him playing with your hair. You didn’t have to ask, beg, or plead. Yup, that’s right, he willing did it on his own because he knows how much you love it. If he didn’t love you, he wouldn’t notice the little things that make you happy, such as, kissing your forehead or playing with your hair after a long stressful day.

2. He talks about you to his friends.                 He doesn’t talk about how the two of you got down and dirty until 3 AM the night before, but he talks about your date night and how awesome the movie was. He tells them how funny it was and how it made you laugh so hard, you were crying and everyone turned to look. He boasts about you and brings you along to hang out. If he didn’t love you, he wouldn’t care to share your totally awesome personality with the guys.

3. He talks about you to his family.                  This is important. His family is the people you really need to impress. So, if he’s not afraid to tell them all about you and talk about the future plans the two of you have made, he’s serious. If he didn’t love you, he wouldn’t care if the people he cares most about like you or not. If he didn’t love you, they probably wouldn’t even know that you exist.

4. He opens the door.                                                 Call me old fashioned, but I believe that chivalry is not dead. If he really loves you, he will do things like, save you the last bite of your favorite meal or pull out your chair when you go out to dinner, just to show that he respects you.

5. He shares the television.                                             We all know how much a guy loves his tv. Whether it be playing Xbox or watching Sports Center, if he gives it up to let you watch Lifetime or whatever reality tv shows you’re into this month, it shows he loves you. Guys wouldn’t sacrifice that for just anyone.

6. He lets you drive.                                            This one might be a little different than you were expecting. Typically the guy does the driving and the buying, but mixing it up a little bit won’t hurt. To some guys, their car or truck is their pride and joy. I mean some guys love it so much that they spend every paycheck they get trying to fix it up; they would probably date it if they could, but that’s not logical though and he has to settle down with someone.. Ladies, we know how we are with our shoes, purses, and other prized possessions, so if he shares his with you whether it be a car or something else, just know, that if he shares, it not only means that he loves you, but it shows that he trusts you as well.

7. He surprises you.                                                 It doesn’t matter if he randomly has flowers sent to your work or if he shows up at your house one evening unannounced, just because he missed you. If he’s willing to put in effort to surprise you every now and then, he loves you.

8. He holds you.                                               Cuddling is a huge stress reliever for both parties involved. So if he turns to you, to hold you and to cuddle, he’s expressing how comfortable and relaxed you make him feel. If he didn’t love you, he’d find something or someone else to turn to when he’s had a bad day. 

9. He laughs with you.                                                Did you know that laughter is a sign of true happiness? If the two of you have fun together and he laughs with you, rather than at you- even though at you is totally acceptable at times- he loves you. It’s proof that he enjoys being with you and that you are both happy.

10. He spends time with you.                       Spending time with each other is key to any relationship. It’s common sense that in order to grow together and for the relationship to work, you must spend quality time hanging out with each other. It doesn’t have to be 24/7, although some of us girls, may expect it to be; any amount of time together is acceptable, as long as it’s a regular thing. If he makes sure to make as much time for you as he possibly can, he loves you. Believe me, he’d fill his calendar with other people or other things if he didn’t.

The bottom line here is that guys don’t always have a way with words. They don’t analyze situations nearly as much as girls do and 99% of the time, they don’t even notice that they haven’t said, ‘I love you’ throughout the day or when they get off the phone. It doesn’t mean that they don’t love us, they just have different ways of showing it. If your hesitant or doubting his feelings, just remember ladies, actions speak louder than words.