This Is Not Where My Story Ends: Giving Up Is Not An Option.

Life has a crazy way of kicking us when we’re down, doesn’t it? We’ve all heard the saying, “When it rains, it pours..” and I’m sure most of us have probably even used it a few times ourselves. Sometimes life can be so overwhelming, so exhausting, but that’s just all part of the journey. Nobody ever said that it was going to be easy. 

When I was young, just a pre-teen, babysitting my brothers and neighborhood kids, I dreamed of the days that I would grow up and become a mother, taking care of my own children. As I rocked my youngest brother to sleep, I’d fantasize about what my house would look like and how my life would be in the years to come. I imagined myself and my husband like most other girls my age did, everything fell perfectly into place and I got my happily ever after ending. I always joked that I wanted three kids and two dogs. I had it all planned out. It was picture perfect and over the years, I kept faith that my hopes would someday become my reality.

I’d like to think that I’m blessed with my relationship, I found a man that exceeded all my expectations and we make a great team. It’s a safe bet to say that we appear to be just like any other couple our age, from the outside looking in. Strangers would probably never guess what we’ve been through in the six, almost seven, years that we’ve been together. Overall, we’ve created a great life for ourselves, but my dream of my picture perfect family hasn’t quite come together just yet though. It’s not because we haven’t been close, because damn it, we’ve been so close more times than I’d like to admit, but unfortunately, we have yet to successfully welcome a child into this world that we can hold in our arms forever. In fact, this part of the plan has been nothing short of complicated, but this is not where our story ends.

I’ve had countless people ask me if we were going to be trying again and then proceed to ask me how I could ever “want to put myself through that again”. I’ve been repeatedly asked how I’m not “afraid” of possibly losing another baby and I’ve even had people say, “there’s always adoption!” as they continue to to tell me how crazy and selfish I would be, if I were to get pregnant again. I’ve literally heard it all. 

Let me start by saying, thanks for your input and excuse my language, but fuck off. If you’ve never gotten a positive pregnancy test, only to be told that there is no heartbeat; if you’ve never had baby showers or gender reveals only to be left with unopened and unused presents; if you’ve never felt a baby kick from the inside, only to hold it’s still and silent body in your arms just a couple weeks later; if you’ve never been through the loss of a child, then you have no idea what I need to do or how I should proceed with the decisions I make in my life and you will never understand the internal battle that I have with myself every single day.

Every time I’ve gotten a positive pregnancy test, my longing to have a living child has grown that much more. My motherly instincts kick in and I instantly become overwhelmed with emotions. I fight to not get my hopes up, but it’s close to impossible not to. I cry in fear of what may happen and I pray to God for guidance and a healthy baby. Every single time, it’s an emotional rollercoaster. 

To answer your question, hell yes I am terrified of losing another baby. I spend more time than not worrying about all the things that could go wrong, but to me, every single aspect of it, is more than worth it, if it means I’ll get my rainbow baby someday. I don’t regret a single pregnancy, because I felt a happiness and an unconditional love for each baby, that I never even knew existed. I don’t have anything ‘wrong’ with me nor have I been diagnosed with something that would prevent me from ever having a healthy child, so I will continue to take the chance and try for my forever baby. If that makes me crazy and selfish, then so be it.

Pregnancy is not always easy and I don’t just mean the awful morning sickness or the backaches that come along with it. You see, getting pregnant isn’t just an ‘oops!’ for everyone. It takes some couples thousands of dollars in treatments and medications before they are finally blessed with a child. For others, staying pregnant is one of the biggest challenges that they may ever face and sometimes, there just isn’t an explanation as to why. So before you question or judge someone else, try to put yourself in their place, it may not make sense to you, but it doesn’t have to. Giving up is just not an option, staying strong is the only choice I’ve got. 

The Life of A ‘Basic’ Girl’s Boyfriend.

​Ladies, we all know how we are, although some are more willing to admit than others.. We can be overly sensitive, a bit melodramatic at times, occasionally emotional, and sometimes feisty, but let’s be real, what’s not to love about that perfect mess?

​It’s hard for us to accept the fact that most guys just don’t understand us and probably never will. Sure we can burst out into tears when our eyeliner just won’t ‘wing’ right or when we have to decide if being late to work is worth the long line at Starbucks (because a Venti Iced Espresso Vanilla Latte is literally life) but that’s just normal issues that everyone has at some point, right? Eh, wrong, at least for a man, that is.

​As you can see, the life of a basic girl’s boyfriend can be somewhat exhausting with trying to keep up with our ever-changing emotions. So guys, here are some pointers to prepare you before you take the plunge and finally make it ‘Facebook official’ with what seems to be your dream girl..

Food is not just for eating.

Don’t even think about touching your plate before it’s positioned just right for the perfect picture to upload on Instagram and don’t be offended when the conversations are paused for at least five minutes after the picture is taken as she makes one of the most difficult decisions of her day, which filter to use.

Buy an extra TV.

Trust me, this will not be a waste of money. Whether it’s Orange Is the New Black or Pretty Little Liars, The Bachelor or a classic Lifetime movie, she will want to control the television. Unless she’s one of the lucky ones that finds a man who will enjoy these shows with her, I guarantee you’re going to want your own TV at some point, either to play Xbox or watch College football.. I promise, you’re going to thank me later.

Get used to the camera.

Along with your fancy plates, your face will be allover Instagram too. Prepare yourself for millions of selfies in one day, wearing the same outfit, until she finds the perfect angle. Before long you’ll be used to it and you will no longer mind the fact that you have become the designated picture taker because you’re arms are longer so selfie’s are just easier for you.

You will listen to Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift.

You can deny it all you want and you can try to fight it, but believe me, you will. You’ll end up knowing the words just as well as she does. You’ll find the songs stuck in your head even when she’s not around. It’s worth it for her though, because she’ll really appreciate your jam sessions together.

Diamonds? Sure, but make-up? Always.

You will never believe the amount of time she has spent on Youtube watching videos trying to conquer the perfect contour and highlight to make her face look like Beyonce when she wakes up, flawless. You’ll never guess how much money it cost for her to get the perfect color locks. Compliment her. She will notice when you don’t.

Time management is not a thing.

5 minutes means at least another hour and rushing her will only slow her down, because then she’ll get stressed and you know how emotional she is when she gets stressed out.. so, just make yourself comfortable. If the two of you need to be somewhere at a certain time, tell her it’s an hour before when you actually need to be there and you might just make it when you’re supposed to.

Her friends will know everything.

If you mess up, be prepared for her friends to know all about it. If you hurt her, you hurt them all. You think one girlfriend is rough, try one girlfriend and her three best friends, you will never win that war. So remember what you got yourself into and don’t be an, excuse my language, asshole.

Snapchat is her diary.

You can pretty much figure out anything you need to know about her day by checking out her Snapchat story. She loves to document when her favorite song comes on the radio while she’s driving and she is obsessed with all the different filters. If you have any questions or she’s not answering your calls, check her story, I bet you’ll get all the answers you were looking for.

​Having a ‘basic’ girlfriend really isn’t all that hard and you will get the hang of it eventually. We’re easy to please for the most part, if you can see past our expensive habits and accept us for the princesses we are, lol, you’ll be just fine. So, remember these few tips and others that you’ll learn as you go and you will be in there like swimwear. You might as well skip the dating scene and put a ring on it, you’re a keeper

Here’s Why You Should Date A Girl That Loves Football..

It’s that time of the year again.. We are officially days away from the first game of the 2017 NFL season and College football is now in full swing. Everyone’s got their fantasy teams ready to go and are counting down for game time. Some would say, scratch that, most would say, that it’s the best time of the year and I could not agree more. Guys, having a girlfriend may seem difficult during football season because let’s be real, some girls will just never understand the game and they definitely don’t get why you love it so much, but hear me out, some of us are actually dying for the season to start just as much as you are and I must say, when she’s not only a total babe but she loves football too, that is a huge plus. Here’s just a few reasons why dating a girl that loves football may just be the best decision of your life..

She’ll keep the fridge stocked with cold ones.

She knows the deal, ‘there will be no beer runs to the store while football is on.’ She knows that you’re gonna need a celebratory beer every time your team scores, but she understands that you will also need a beer if your team starts losing, so she makes sure that there is always enough and chances are, she’ll be right there shotgunning one with you.

She’ll never get annoyed when you check your phone for scores.

She understands that keeping up with your team is important, that includes the players on your fantasy team as well, so she’ll never nag you when you continuously check your phone for updates. She’ll probably be on hers too, keeping herself up to date with the latest football news.

She knows what the weekends are for.

Whether you have tickets to go to the game or are just watching it at home, she knows better than to make special plans with you during game time and she will never ask you to change the channel because she knows the importance of it. There will be no distractions. If anything, she’ll be right there cheering with you. 

She will make you the best snacks.

Wings, Buffalo Dip, Pizza, you name it.. She’ll make sure you and the guys have all the best snacks available, but understand that you need to save some for her too, because she’ll join you in stuffing her face with no hesitation. Football Sundays just aren’t the same without all the good food.

She knows the rules.

You won’t have to worry about her embarrassing you when it comes to football talk, she knows the rules and understands the game. She’ll throw out information you didn’t even know and will start calling out penalties before the refs even say it. She is not afraid to yell at the TV for stupid calls. Trust me, you’ll be impressed with what she knows and it’ll only make you like her even more.

She gets your mood swings.

She knows that if your team loses, it’s like you’ve lost too, so she accepts your little attitude with no questions asked. But you also need understand that she may be the same exact way, if not worse, when her team lets her down, so there should be no judgements from you when she gets emotional too.

She enjoys SportsCenter.

Yes, you read that right. She won’t fuss when the TV is on SportsCenter because she likes catching all of the game updates too. You can only see so much flipping back and forth between games during commercials, so she’ll be totally okay with watching the highlights with you.

She’ll go to the game, regardless of the weather.

When she’s a true football fan, she’ll love going to any game whether it’s -10 degrees or pouring rain. She’ll stock you up with hand warmers and you’ll never be without a poncho. Not to mention, she’ll make sure that you have plenty of your teams hats, hoodies, and jackets to wear throughout the season. She will be there right along with you rooting them on and she won’t mind getting to the stadium to start tailgating extra early.

She understands shit talking.

Every team has their rival. She knows what teams to hate and what teams to cheer for. Don’t be surprised when she starts the shit talking if she sees someone wearing the wrong teams jersey. She knows that’s just part of the game and will enjoy it just as much as you do.

If she likes the same team as you, the two of you will be the ultimate duo, like Tom Brady to Gronk. You’ll never argue over who’s team is better. If she likes a different team, you will probably end up in serious debates with lots of football conversation, but there’s nothing better than that right? Basically, dating a girl that loves football just as much as you do is a total win and regardless you can’t go wrong.