life, Uncategorized

Throw In The Towel Kind of Day.

Here’s to you, mama:

It’s one of those days.. When it’s 7:30 am and the day has already gone awry and you really just want to bury your face in a pillow and ‘scream it out’. It’s that day when nothing sounds better than curling up on the couch with your favorite snack, binge watching the latest hit Netflix series, but there’s just too much to do. When it’s not even noon and you’re already wishing that it was tomorrow; when you doubt your capabilities to survive the day because your kid(s) is fussing and you’re totally behind and you’re really just out of breath.

You are not alone.

I know all about the messes, the laundry that’s been left in the dryer since yesterday, the animal cracker crumbs that have found their home on your freshly swept kitchen floor. I’ve been there- when it’s leftover pizza for breakfast and toys trailing from one room to the next, when the grass needs cut and the dishes are starting to pile up in the sink. I get it, you just want to shower (in peace) and be on time for once. We all have those days, when our patience has run thin and there’s not enough caffeine in the city to give you the energy you need.

You do the same things, day in and day out and yet, you still feel behind, like you’re racing to try to catch up to this undefined bar of normal. Remember life before kids? When there was only you (and maybe your hubby and the dog) to take care of. You could clean once every other day and the house would stay that way? You get on Facebook and see the neighborhood Martha Stewart is at it again with her ‘picture perfect’ family having craft time- there’s no glitter on the floor or glue in her daughter’s hair.. If only. It’s hard not to compare; not to question why your baby won’t pose like that for pictures or how her house always stays so organized. Don’t we all want that? Well, I’m here to tell you, before my son, that’s how I envisioned motherhood would be for myself. What a joke, right? Because that is so not my reality. Somedays, although they are far and few between, occasionally, it works out that way- I feel like I’ve got it all figured out and I’m on top of the world. But don’t be fooled by social media, because most of the time, it is hectic and it is hard.

When you’ve lost all hope and you feel like throwing in the towel, just breathe mama. They won’t be little for long. There will come a day when the toys covering the floor will be thrown in a box, covered in dust. Before you know it, the countertops will stay clean and the laundry will lessen. The halls will be quiet and you’ll be back on a regular sleep schedule. On those really hard days, remember that in the midst of it all, sometimes it’s okay to not be okay.

Remind yourself of all that you do accomplish each and every day.

A lot of times, what we get finished is clouded by the chaos. We tend to focus more on the unchecked boxes of our to-do lists, instead of patting ourselves on the back for the good deeds done. As mother’s- and wives, we feel responsible, so it’s easy to get caught up in the fears of failing, but don’t let it consume you. Allow yourself that five minute mental break or your favorite glass of wine, then put your ‘big girl’ pants on, pull yourself together and do it all over again.

Don’t dwell on those ‘throw in the towel’ kind of days, there might just come a time when you miss them (a little). Motherhood is a challenge, but it is so rewarding and we are all in this thing together.

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The Life of A ‘Loss Mother’..

​1 in 4. It’s that common. Did you know that more than 500,000 pregnancies each year end in miscarriage? Over 23,600 babies are born sleeping a year in just the United States alone. So many parents are affected by the loss of a child and some families have even suffered from multiple losses. These statistics may seem minuscule in the big scheme of things, because every time you scroll through Facebook or refresh your Instagram feed, it seems like yet another person has announced that they’re expecting, but roughly 19% of the adult population has experienced the loss of a child. Regardless of what stage of pregnancy the loss occurred or how much time the parents were given with their child before they had to say goodbye, there are no words to fully describe the pain that is felt throughout life after that loss. There is said to be 7 billion people in this world and roughly, 1.33 billion are parents who have to go through life without their child (or children). So tell me, why is it not talked about? Why do so many parents feel so alone and hide their stories amongst themselves, when there are over one billion other people in the world who have been in similar situations and are familiar with the grief that takes over, when a child is taken far too soon? 

I am a loss mother. To my fellow loss parents, I know the heartache and the pain all too well and I am here to tell you that you are not alone. I have held back and kept quiet. I have shut myself out from the world. I have been bitter and I have pushed those that are closest to me away, because I didn’t know what else to do. There is no ‘right’ way to grieve. Death affects us all differently and it’s only natural that we find our own ways to cope with it. However, from my personal experience, I learned that not talking about it did not help. Not sharing my story, my life, didn’t change the fact that my heart is forever hurting. I was suffering alone, but that didn’t make my situation any less real. Regardless of if I held it all in and cried myself to sleep for months without ever telling a single soul or if I post novels on Facebook sharing my every emotion, I am still a loss mother and nothing is going to change that.

No two stories are the same; we may have faced different challenges, but we have one thing in common, the longing for our child(children) to be in our arms. The struggles we face as loss parents, never go away. For days, months, and years to follow, we are haunted by the fact that this is our harsh reality. If you are a loss parent or you know or love someone that is, try to remember the following things, when you see that they are having a rough day: (Trust me, they happen and sometimes the grief will hit like a ton of bricks.)

You don’t have to know what to say.

We don’t expect you to, because honestly, there is nothing that anyone can say to ease the pain. Sometimes we just need to know that someone is there to listen and to hold us while we cry.

Don’t be afraid to ask.

Chances are we are waiting for the opportunity to talk about our children. Talking about them keeps their spirit and memory alive and that’s all we have left, so ask us about them. I bet you’ll see the light in our eyes when we start describing the most intimate moments and reminiscing about the sweet little angels they are.

It takes time.

Everyone is different and we all grieve differently. Time does not heal all wounds, because some were just not meant to be healed. The hole in a loss parent’s heart is forever.  I know the emotional rollercoaster ride may seem never ending at times, but we will get there, when we get there and that’s okay.

Blame. It’s going to happen.

As a loss parent, it is impossible not to feel at fault. “What did I do wrong?” “What could I have done differently?” “How could I let this happen?” “I was supposed to protect my child and I failed.” It’s hard, so, so hard, but it is no one’s fault. We don’t always understand the plan that’s in place for us, but we’re not supposed to. Sometimes there is just no justification for when, where, how or why things happen.

Patience is a virtue.

There will be days when it takes everything we have just to get out of bed and change into semi-presentable clothes. There will also be those days where there are more tears than there are words spoken. There will be sleepless nights and a loss of appetite, but be patient. Figuring out how to put the pieces back together isn’t an easy task, but having support to stick it out through the dark days, makes it seem less impossible.

Tomorrow is another day.

Some days smiling comes easy. Our hearts are full of hope and faith. The memories we have bring joy and we are overcome with happiness because of the unconditional love the we felt from our little ones. Signs of our angels will appear in the craziest ways, letting each of us know when our babies are near. Those are the good days. They may be few and far between, but when they happen, it’s a reminder that we are going to be okay, that we are going to make it.

The journey of life after loss is just that, a journey. Every day is a challenge, but it is another day closer to being with our children again. Pregnancy, infant, and child loss are so common all over the world and the more we open up about it, the more we can come together. Losing a child doesn’t make someone any less of a parent; they just become an extra special kind, because their child is an angel. Share your story or be a listening ear. Let’s break the silence.

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There’s A Person Out There Somewhere Looking For Someone Just Like You.

     I believe that there is someone out there for everyone. Some may find their soulmate at 15 years old, while others are lucky at 40, but regardless of when we find them, I believe that there’s a person out there somewhere looking for someone just like you. We date, or at least most of us do, with the hopes of finding the relationship that has the spark that will never burn out. With each relationship, we open our hearts and pray that ‘this one will be it’, that all the tears and the lonely nights have come to an end, but even when we’ve found the one, how do we know for sure? Do we ever really know or do we just take the chance with the person that seems to fit best in our lives, because we’ve been so desperate to find love for so long? There is a difference between loving and being in love and trust me, when you’ve found your person, you will easily be able to discover it. Here are just a few subtle signs that you’re on your way to forever with ‘the one’..

1. You argue.                                                         Yes, that’s right. You disagree and you argue. I know you’re probably thinking I’m crazy for believing that arguing is actually a good thing, but I promise, arguments are key in a strong relationship. They always say that you can’t appreciate the good times, without experiencing the bad too. So don’t start planning the break up as soon as things get tough, we are adults. We should all know by now that nothing in life comes easy (especially not relationships with the opposite sex).

2. You make up.                                                        If you understand that you are both human and make mistakes (don’t get me wrong, there are certain mistakes that this rule doesn’t apply to) and can forgive each other; if you never go to bed angry with one another, and you both learn to compromise because suddenly, it’s not just your own happiness that matters anymore; what you’ve got is something worth holding on to. Making up is the best part about arguing, it’s an opportunity to remember just how much the other person means to you and value the fact that you’re both willing to accept each other’s craziness.

3. You are happy.                                                    Completely and utterly, 100% happy. When being in their presence gives you butterflies and looking into their eyes makes you smile; when doing nothing at all becomes more fun than going out every weekend; when the only time they make you cry is from laughing too hard and you really only get mad when they don’t share their food with you.. Know that what you have together is rare and it’s special. Cherish it.

4. You have no questions, no doubts, no worries.                                                                        You don’t wonder about where they are or what they’re doing, while other people are stalking their significant others’ social media pages to make sure they’re not up to no good. You don’t question when they will be home, because you trust them without a doubt. The two of you are capable of being away from each other, but at the end of the day, you’d much rather be together. When there are no questions because there are no secrets, it’s real. Trust is pertinent in a lasting relationship.

5. You just know.                                                     When they are the first person on your mind when you wake up and the last person you think about before you fall asleep; when it doesn’t matter what happens in life, they are the one you always want by your side and the first person you tell all of your secrets to; when they are your best friend, your partner, your confidant, don’t let go. 

The truth is, there’s always going to be obvious hints that can either make or break a relationship, but when you’ve finally got the right one, it’ll be hard to find all of the words to describe it, there will be no uncertainty. No argument could ever break the bond between the two of you and none of life’s obstacles will bring you down for too long, because your partner on this journey through life will be there helping you back up, every single step of the way. When you’ve got ‘the one’, you will feel it in your gut and know with every inch of your being, that they are your soulmate and your happily ever after. 

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You’re My Kind of Person.

​Don’t we all have an idea of what we want our ‘type’ of people to be like? Like a mental list of all of the personality traits we’d expect our significant other and/or best friends to possess? I know I do. It’s ironic because most of us get on Social Media and see posts from random people and immediately think, “Oh my gosh, we would totally be best friends.” or “OMG, that’s the exact same thing I always say!” But if you are anything like the type of person I am, you probably won’t be the one to initiate conversations with just anyone, especially on the internet (lol). They say that friendship is a weird concept to think about.. You just pick a human you’ve met and decide, ‘Yeah, I like this one’ and then you just do stuff with them. Well, I’ve been lucky with the people I’ve met in my life and the friendships I’ve made. We’re all so different, yet so alike in so many ways. You’re my kind of person if you are anything like any of the following..

You’re my kind of person if you don’t mind having concerts in the car.

I mean, full on, singing at the top of our lungs to a 1999 Britney Spears song or throwing it back to ‘I Will Always Love You’ by Whitney Houston (have to represent one of the greatest) type of concert. I am not afraid to roll the windows down and perform for anyone stopped next to me at a red light. If you are willing to let loose and belt it all out, we would be best friends.

You’re my kind of person if you love food.

Love is a strong word, but there’s no other way to describe how I feel about food. I may be the pickiest eater you will ever meet, but give me something I do like and I can throw down, no joke. Ice cream, pizza, chicken wings, all the good stuff.. If you don’t mind pigging out every now and then, I guarantee we would get along great.  

You’re my kind of person if you are down for ‘Netflix and chill’.

Let’s be real, how can you not? Netflix is one of my all-time go-to’s for a relaxing night inside. I can binge watch any series for months and not care at all. If you can kick back and enjoy a good tv show, we could definitely plan weekly Netflix nights.

You’re my kind of person if you’re tough.

I say this because there are times that I can be the typical emotional female and need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to vent to. If you can put me in my place and put up with me during that time of the month or any time for that matter, I promise I’d keep you around forever.

You’re my kind of person if you can just go with the flow.

I am so laid back, some may say too laid back at times. I am indecisive and when I do make a decision, it’s totally spur of the moment and random, but there’s no turning back. If you are a semi-unorganized, non-planner like myself, I bet we would make a fantastic mess together. (However, if you are a planner and have a schedule for everything you do in life, that’s totally okay too, I’d appreciate you showing me the ropes and teaching me your ways lol.)

You’re my kind of person if you are straight forward.

As much as it sucks, sometimes having someone tell me like it is, is exactly what I need. Having a brutally honest person in your life that won’t beat around the bush or coddle you, is such a good thing. If you’re the type of person that will tell me that my hair looks ridiculous and that my favorite outfit, actually isn’t as cute as I thought it was or if you will step up tell me when I’m being overdramatic as I’m arguing with my boyfriend and save us all from my pettiness, we could have an ever-lasting friendship.

You’re my kind of person if you see the glass as half-full.

This journey we’re on is crazy and complicated. It can break you down and stress you out if you let it. Negativity can consume us, especially if we surround ourselves with negative people. We all have those rough days and some more frequently than others, but if you can take a deep breath and drink a margarita or five and just enjoy the good things in the middle of all the chaos, I need you in my life.

​I wouldn’t change any friendship I’ve ever had for anything, because each and every one, whether we still talk or not, have helped to shape me into the person I am today. True friendship is hard to come by so I will hold on to the people in my life extra tight. If you’re my kind of person and I’ve already met you, I appreciate you more than you will ever know. If you’re my kind of person and I don’t really know you just yet, I hope that someday, I’ll be lucky enough that our paths will cross.

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10 Ways A Guy Says ‘I love you’ Without Actually Saying It..

As girls, we tend to overthink everything, I mean everything. If an old friend doesn’t smile at us and say hi as we pass them in the store, we automatically assume that they no longer like us. When in reality, they were probably just in such a rush that they didn’t even notice we were there. If a waiter tells us he’s got a coupon for 25% off of alcoholic beverages for the evening; our minds are already trying to find ways to avoid giving him our number because we just know he totally wants our bodies.. When in reality, every waiter/waitress in the restaurant is giving out the same offer to boost their bar sales. When it comes to the opposite sex, no amount of reassurance will ever be enough to settle our wandering minds. You will always question if he loves you and worry when he doesn’t actually say it enough. But take a breather ladies and relax, here are 10 signs that he loves you without even saying a word…

1. He plays with your hair.                                While you’re laying there, binge watching your favorite show on Netflix, you randomly feel him playing with your hair. You didn’t have to ask, beg, or plead. Yup, that’s right, he willing did it on his own because he knows how much you love it. If he didn’t love you, he wouldn’t notice the little things that make you happy, such as, kissing your forehead or playing with your hair after a long stressful day.

2. He talks about you to his friends.                 He doesn’t talk about how the two of you got down and dirty until 3 AM the night before, but he talks about your date night and how awesome the movie was. He tells them how funny it was and how it made you laugh so hard, you were crying and everyone turned to look. He boasts about you and brings you along to hang out. If he didn’t love you, he wouldn’t care to share your totally awesome personality with the guys.

3. He talks about you to his family.                  This is important. His family is the people you really need to impress. So, if he’s not afraid to tell them all about you and talk about the future plans the two of you have made, he’s serious. If he didn’t love you, he wouldn’t care if the people he cares most about like you or not. If he didn’t love you, they probably wouldn’t even know that you exist.

4. He opens the door.                                                 Call me old fashioned, but I believe that chivalry is not dead. If he really loves you, he will do things like, save you the last bite of your favorite meal or pull out your chair when you go out to dinner, just to show that he respects you.

5. He shares the television.                                             We all know how much a guy loves his tv. Whether it be playing Xbox or watching Sports Center, if he gives it up to let you watch Lifetime or whatever reality tv shows you’re into this month, it shows he loves you. Guys wouldn’t sacrifice that for just anyone.

6. He lets you drive.                                            This one might be a little different than you were expecting. Typically the guy does the driving and the buying, but mixing it up a little bit won’t hurt. To some guys, their car or truck is their pride and joy. I mean some guys love it so much that they spend every paycheck they get trying to fix it up; they would probably date it if they could, but that’s not logical though and he has to settle down with someone.. Ladies, we know how we are with our shoes, purses, and other prized possessions, so if he shares his with you whether it be a car or something else, just know, that if he shares, it not only means that he loves you, but it shows that he trusts you as well.

7. He surprises you.                                                 It doesn’t matter if he randomly has flowers sent to your work or if he shows up at your house one evening unannounced, just because he missed you. If he’s willing to put in effort to surprise you every now and then, he loves you.

8. He holds you.                                               Cuddling is a huge stress reliever for both parties involved. So if he turns to you, to hold you and to cuddle, he’s expressing how comfortable and relaxed you make him feel. If he didn’t love you, he’d find something or someone else to turn to when he’s had a bad day. 

9. He laughs with you.                                                Did you know that laughter is a sign of true happiness? If the two of you have fun together and he laughs with you, rather than at you- even though at you is totally acceptable at times- he loves you. It’s proof that he enjoys being with you and that you are both happy.

10. He spends time with you.                       Spending time with each other is key to any relationship. It’s common sense that in order to grow together and for the relationship to work, you must spend quality time hanging out with each other. It doesn’t have to be 24/7, although some of us girls, may expect it to be; any amount of time together is acceptable, as long as it’s a regular thing. If he makes sure to make as much time for you as he possibly can, he loves you. Believe me, he’d fill his calendar with other people or other things if he didn’t.

The bottom line here is that guys don’t always have a way with words. They don’t analyze situations nearly as much as girls do and 99% of the time, they don’t even notice that they haven’t said, ‘I love you’ throughout the day or when they get off the phone. It doesn’t mean that they don’t love us, they just have different ways of showing it. If your hesitant or doubting his feelings, just remember ladies, actions speak louder than words.

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15 Signs of True Friendship..

In our generation it's unbelievably hard to know who's with you for the long haul and who's only with you until someone else comes along. So many people you thought would be in your wedding someday haven't talked to you in months and others you'd thought would be your child's God parents disappeared without any reason. It's hard to accept it sometimes, but don't lose hope. Occasionally, out of nowhere and totally unexpected, you'll meet someone knew and before you know it, it's like you were destined to be best friends for life. Before you get too comfortable, here's some tips to prove that your friendship is as real as Monica and Rachel's from 'Friends':

1. There are no secrets.                                                         I mean none. Even when you try to lie or hide something, she knows you so well that she can tell by your facial expressions that you've got something to tell her.  

      

2. The only time she makes you cry, is by laughing.                                                                                 You don't question why you like her so much, she's the only one who appreciates your laugh and laughs right along with you. The only time a true friend should make you cry is when your cheeks hurt because you two are insanely crazy together. 

3. You can have fun doing nothing.                             Not a single word needs to be said for you to have a perfectly great night together. A large pizza, bottle of wine, and Netflix is one of your favorite hobbies together. 

4. She’s in all of your favorite memories.       Since she's came into your life, it's like the two of you became sidekicks. It's rare to see one without the other and not just for the two of you, but everyone else notices as well. You have more inside jokes that others would never understand and memories that will last a lifetime. 

5. You understand each other.                                                With just one look, you can tell what each other is thinking. You can vent for hours and talk about life for days, she always sees your side of things and you understand hers.

6. Your family is hers and vice versa.                          You basically share siblings and parents. In fact, your parents eventually become friends as well. It's like you gained a whole new family when you met her.

7. People start to question if your lesbian lovers.                                                                                   You share clothes and a bed most nights. You triple date with her and her boyfriend and she doesn't hesitate to interrupt any alone time you thought you may have had with yours. Sometimes, your boyfriends feel more like the outcast. You just laugh when people make comments because it's not the first time you've heard it.

8. You cry together, the ugly cry.                                      She's there through the good times, but even more so during the bad. She will hold you and cry right along with you. She never hesitates to lend her shoulder. It's like your pain is hers and you would never let her cry alone.

9. You’re honest and always tell the truth.                                                                                             There's no sugar coating anything when it comes to the two of you. If she doesn't like your outfit or if you think her hair looks like she's from 1978, you tell each other like it is. You will tell one another all of the things that everyone else hesitates to say.

10. There is no judging.                                                            Whether it be from your past, present, or your future. You never point fingers nor judge each other. It goes back to the understanding each other part. You don't care about her mistakes because you know you've made them too and you accept that everything that's happened has lead to both to where you are today. 

11. You help each other, push each other,  and support each other.                                                       No matter what goals, dreams, or ambitions you have, she's always the first one there cheering you on. She's your #1 fan and believes in you more than you believe in yourself. You inspire her and keep her pushing forward when she just wants to let go. You two are a team and have each other's back.

12. You do most things together, but not everything.                                                                      Like I said earlier, most people find it weird to see you out about without her, but you both make time for other friends as well. You are always down to add another friend to the group, it's just a known fact that the bond the two of you have, could never be broken.

13. She’s always been there and so have you.                                                                                                        No matter what obstacles life throws your way, you know that you can count on her to pick you up when you're down and she can always count on you for your words of wisdom. You don't know how you got this far without her and she can't imagine going on in life without you.

14. You are two of a kind.                                                   They say opposites attract and in some ways this is true for the two of you; however, 9 times out of 10 you guys are the exact same. You always finish each other's sentences and you definitely have the same sense of humor. You are partners in crime and always getting in to some sort of trouble.

15. You are so much more than ‘just friends’, you’re sisters.                                                             They say that blood is thicker than water, but when it comes to your friendship, the two of you see no difference. It doesn't matter how long you've known each other, forever started at 'Hey girl!' and it will never end.

Having a friendship like Monica and Rachel is like finding a four leaf clover in a field. It's hard, but consider yourself lucky once you've found her. It's like having a soulmate in your best friend's body. Nothing will compare to the strength of true friendship, so never let it go.

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It’s Unbelievable Where Life Could Take You.

Ya know, life is just crazy sometimes, better yet, MOST of the time. Just when we think we’ve finally got it all figured out, it’s like life sees us getting too comfortable and bam, just like that, another curveball is thrown at you, completely ruining your plans.

I thought I knew everything at 16 because sitting behind that wheel for the first time gave me all the power in the world. Again at 18, I knew I had it all planned out because I was finally legal and officially recognized as an adult. As 20 came along I was no longer a teen and was determined to take on the world. Here I am, 23, more lost than I’ve ever been and I’m realizing that this is perfectly okay.

I’ve spent most of my time trying to find ways of perfecting my life and making sure I was fully prepared for any obstacle that may my come way. When I tried college but it wasn’t my gig, I felt like a failure. When I quit my job to start all over again somewhere completely different, I felt like a loser. I’ve made an endless amount of mistakes, as I’m sure most of you have too. For awhile, I regretted them. I constantly thought about the ‘what if’s’ and pictured where I’d be if would’ve done things differently, but one day I realized that I was doing this thing called life so wrong..

I’ve learned that the key to life is not about living it perfectly and there is no way to ever be prepared for all of the challenges that may come your way. It’s not about doing everything ‘right’ and always having the answers.

From the time we were in grade school, we were told that the plan is to graduate; go to college; become a teacher, doctor, nurse, etc.; find a life partner, fall in love, get married, and start a family. Doesn’t that sound perfect? Isn’t that how 99% of the movies we’ve grown up watching portray life to be? Well guess what, that’s not always how it works. Some people will do it backwards, some may never follow it at all. But, to each their own, because there is no set in stone way of life. What’s right for someone, may not be good for someone else. What works for one person, may not go over well for others. The mistakes I’ve made are not because I’m a mess or don’t know what I’m doing. Their purpose was to bring me to the place I am today. They have helped shape me into the woman I am now and I no longer regret them. I don’t have to know exactly where I’m going, in fact, the unknown is part of the thrill.

I’ve found that the purpose in life, the reason for our individual stories, is to be happy. Fully, completely, and genuinely happy. If there’s something you don’t like, change it. If there’s negativity surrounding you, let it go. If you’re doubting your decisions and questioning why you are where you’re at in this very moment, know that it’s because that’s exactly where you’re meant to be. John Lennon once said, “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” So don’t worry too much if you feel lost or uncertain, hold on to the things, places, and people that make you happy. It’s unbelievable where life could take you.

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Life of a Softball Player’s Girlfriend.

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We all have our ‘thing’ in life right? Clearly mine is writing, but some people love to cook, bake, dance, sing.. The list goes on forever. It’s great to have a hobby or do something that just makes you happy. It’s even better to see someone you love do what they love. That’s what it’s like to be a softball players girlfriend. If you’re considering dating someone that plays this game, here’s a few pointers to get you prepared for the journey you’re going to embark on every season, every year:

It’s NOT a game. 

There’s actually a saying, “SOE” which stands for softball over everything. If you hear it, don’t get offended. When he’s at the fields, it really is softball over everything. If he’s anything like the average player, he will take it very seriously. If he makes an error or gets out, it’s best to steer clear of him for at least 10 minutes, unless you’re bringing him a beer, in which case, he may not pout for nearly as long.

Enjoy it.

Trust me, it may seem like softball season is never ending, sometimes you’ll be convinced that every weekend for the rest of your life (or as long as your dating him) will be spent at the ball fields, but enjoy it. You’ll come to find out that those 3-4 months out of the year that he’s not playing are actually pretty boring, you may end up missing the season more than he does by the time winters over. Going to the fields can actually be fun.

Don’t be stuck up his ass.

Excuse my language, but seriously. Like I said, going to the fields can be fun, but not if you’re that girlfriend that cannot be away from her boyfriend for 2 minutes. Softball is HIS thing. Remember, you’re solely there for support & beer (who doesn’t love a tub or five of alcohol?!) so if he goes off with his friends during a game break instead of having a make out session with you, it’s NOT the end of the world. This will actually give you time to meet some of the other wives/girlfriends and make friends of your own! I’ve met some of my favorite people and best friends at the ball park!

Traveling.

Yup, that’s right. Depending on what team he plays for & just how into it he may get, there’s always traveling in softball. This could be the perfect time for you to get to know the team and spend time with them or it could be your own mini-vacation from both him AND softball so you just have girls days back home instead, whichever you prefer. Please don’t make it an argument if he decides to go and you’re not/can’t. There are plenty of other things he could be doing instead of playing with balls with other men (LOL jk) but don’t hate him too much for playing.

He loved it first.

Chances are, you’re boyfriend was playing ball long before he even knew you existed or at least before you took part of his heart.. Anyway, because of this, when phrases like “SOE” are heard, know it’s nothing personal, but softball has a place in his heart too. He’s allowed to love you both, definitely you more, BUT when it’s game time, that becomes his priority.

Plan ahead.

This will save you a lot of arguments and spare you a lot of time. If you want him to come on a family vacation or you want to plan a romantic getaway for just the two of you, PLAN AHEAD. It’s a lot easier for him to go into the season knowing when he can’t play then wait until a week or two before hand to let him know about it, after he just found out they have a big tournament that same weekend. He’s not trying to choose softball over you, but he doesn’t want to let his team down either. Make it easier and don’t wait, so that everyone will be prepared.

It’s family.

Like I said earlier, I’ve met some of my best friends at the ball park. When he’s been playing softball for awhile or played on the same team for several years, you’ll soon realize just how close they are. There’s nothing like the friendships of those teammates. You’ll most likely know everyone’s entire family by the end of the season & you’ll feel like part of the gang. Don’t take those friendships for granted, once the seasons over, you’ll be surprised how often your schedule will allow you to hang out with them and you just never know what team he may end up on next year.

Basically, dating a softball player can be challenging at times for different reasons, but ultimately, it’s pretty great. Drink up and enjoy it. Love him for loving the game, you’ll learn to love it too, if not, there’s always more beer, and you can never go wrong with that. Here’s to the start of the season and the first tournament down.