life, Uncategorized

Throw In The Towel Kind of Day.

Here’s to you, mama:

It’s one of those days.. When it’s 7:30 am and the day has already gone awry and you really just want to bury your face in a pillow and ‘scream it out’. It’s that day when nothing sounds better than curling up on the couch with your favorite snack, binge watching the latest hit Netflix series, but there’s just too much to do. When it’s not even noon and you’re already wishing that it was tomorrow; when you doubt your capabilities to survive the day because your kid(s) is fussing and you’re totally behind and you’re really just out of breath.

You are not alone.

I know all about the messes, the laundry that’s been left in the dryer since yesterday, the animal cracker crumbs that have found their home on your freshly swept kitchen floor. I’ve been there- when it’s leftover pizza for breakfast and toys trailing from one room to the next, when the grass needs cut and the dishes are starting to pile up in the sink. I get it, you just want to shower (in peace) and be on time for once. We all have those days, when our patience has run thin and there’s not enough caffeine in the city to give you the energy you need.

You do the same things, day in and day out and yet, you still feel behind, like you’re racing to try to catch up to this undefined bar of normal. Remember life before kids? When there was only you (and maybe your hubby and the dog) to take care of. You could clean once every other day and the house would stay that way? You get on Facebook and see the neighborhood Martha Stewart is at it again with her ‘picture perfect’ family having craft time- there’s no glitter on the floor or glue in her daughter’s hair.. If only. It’s hard not to compare; not to question why your baby won’t pose like that for pictures or how her house always stays so organized. Don’t we all want that? Well, I’m here to tell you, before my son, that’s how I envisioned motherhood would be for myself. What a joke, right? Because that is so not my reality. Somedays, although they are far and few between, occasionally, it works out that way- I feel like I’ve got it all figured out and I’m on top of the world. But don’t be fooled by social media, because most of the time, it is hectic and it is hard.

When you’ve lost all hope and you feel like throwing in the towel, just breathe mama. They won’t be little for long. There will come a day when the toys covering the floor will be thrown in a box, covered in dust. Before you know it, the countertops will stay clean and the laundry will lessen. The halls will be quiet and you’ll be back on a regular sleep schedule. On those really hard days, remember that in the midst of it all, sometimes it’s okay to not be okay.

Remind yourself of all that you do accomplish each and every day.

A lot of times, what we get finished is clouded by the chaos. We tend to focus more on the unchecked boxes of our to-do lists, instead of patting ourselves on the back for the good deeds done. As mother’s- and wives, we feel responsible, so it’s easy to get caught up in the fears of failing, but don’t let it consume you. Allow yourself that five minute mental break or your favorite glass of wine, then put your ‘big girl’ pants on, pull yourself together and do it all over again.

Don’t dwell on those ‘throw in the towel’ kind of days, there might just come a time when you miss them (a little). Motherhood is a challenge, but it is so rewarding and we are all in this thing together.

Uncategorized

Why Fix Something That Isn’t Broken?

Most of you reading this probably have some form of social media right? Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, etc. I know that for me, those sites become my favorite go to’s when I get bored as I’m trying to force myself to sleep at night or before I find the energy to actually get out of bed to start my day of a morning. Scroll through Facebook, check out Instagram, take a look at Twitter, and repeat. It almost becomes a cycle. 
Well, today I woke up and was doing my usual (just checking my notifications and trying to kill time since it was only 8:07 a.m. on a Saturday!) Anyway, I was scrolling through pictures on Instagram and I saw really rude comments on a girl’s picture. Usually, I look at the pictures and just keep scrolling, but a comment that read, “Lol, if I looked like that I’d never post a selfie!” caught my attention. Surprisingly, the girl in the picture was someone that I’ve always found beautiful, like an Instagram girl crush (don’t lie, we all have them!). So I was taken back when I saw someone being so hateful. I decided to dig deeper and saw more comments such as: “Eat a cheeseburger and while your at it grab a fry you look gross” and “How much money do you spend on make up a week.. Prolly costs more than my groceries.. your face looks fake.” I’m sure these poorly grammered comments don’t have much affect on the girl in the pictures as she has some hundreds of thousands of followers, but it was still eye opening to me. What has this world come to?

Don’t get me wrong, judging is a part of human nature. It’s something we all do, I know I’m guilty. But why? If a girl that lives thousands of miles away is in to fitness and has the perfect winged eyeliner, HOW does that affect you? WHAT does it have to do with you? That’s right, absolutely nothing. Is it hurting you? Is it changing your life or happiness in any way, shape, or form?

“Confidence is knowing who you are and not changing it a bit because of someone’s version of reality is not your reality.”

       – Shannon Alder

We, as women, are victimized daily for our bodies; how we dress, what we eat, the clothes we wear.. The list goes on. Did you know that 73% of women have low self esteem? Yupp, that’s right.. The majority of us feel the same way about ourselves- we don’t like this, want to change that, wish this looked like hers, and so on. If this is the case, which statistics show it to be true, then why do we continuously put each other down?
We are ALL human. Which means that we ALL have flaws. Whether you’re a part of the LGBT community, a size 0 or 18, can contour like the Youtubers or don’t wear make up at all.. Whether you’re Asian, Puerto Rican, White, Black, or Indian.. Whether you spend hours at the gym or hours in the kitchen; we are all still in so many ways, the exact same. 73% of us are unhappy with ourselves or there’s something about ourselves that we want to “fix”. The saying goes, why fix something that isn’t broken? So why do we all see flaws as issues or something negative, something wrong? My thighs might be thick but I can still walk, her calves may be tiny but she moves along just fine. 

The truth is, WE are not what needs to be “fixed”. Our flaws give us individualism, they make us who we are. The idea, the perception, of perfection existing, for example: in the celebrities or the famous people that we all idolize so much, that needs to be fixed. Because just like all of the average women across the world, they were born with flaws too. We were made to be different, we were made to be unique. Our imperfections should not be determined by anyone else. So don’t let others change the way you perceive yourself. Embrace the fact that you are  one in a million. This world can make life difficult at times, but know that you are not alone. We are all in this thing together and the majority of us are fighting the same exact battles.

“You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. Dance as though EVERYBODY is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in.”

       – Mandy Hale